Love, Happiness, and Stress!

Love, Happiness, and Stress!


At one time in my life ( a long time ago)  'Love', 'Happiness' and 'Stress' all seemed to be states of being that happened to me.  I had nothing to do with them.  I did experience each of them - love and happiness always seemed to happen together when stress was not around, and when stress was hitting the high notes, happiness and love seemed to disappear.

I had always had a tendency to be a solution finder, resourceful and of the positive thinking fraternity.  However, I also experienced near obliterating depression.  You see, I had been taught well.  My mother was pretty much the opposite of me, depressive in the extreme - frequently suicidal, into self harming and very destructive.  I grew up having been told too many times that I wasn't ever wanted, that I wouldn't live to see adulthood, that if I didn't die before adulthood that I would die in pregnancy and that pretty much anything that I wanted to be I would be no good at and 'who did I think I was wanting to be a lawyer, a forensic pathologist, an opera singer?'  

Being an obstinate bugger, I did sing for my living - some opera but mainly musical theatre and cabaret - I travelled far and wide and had some very interesting experiences but somehow it didn't quite make that mark for me - I really did want to change the world.  

Some people saw that I had enormous love to give, that was nice to hear but it didn't seem to fit my view of me at that time.  The first time I knew what love really felt like was as I held my first son for the first time in my arms. That day was the day after he was born, as he drew his last breath.  At that moment, this huge explosion of emotion - it was love  - just burst from I know not where and for the first time I knew what love felt like, just at the very moment when I had no lovely being to give it to.  That was the beginning of a period of immense darkness.  Like Alice in Wonderland, I tumbled down this endless deep very dark hole.  That period continued for over five years with another baby being still born and seven miscarriages before I finally managed to have a son who lived and is now a strapping 18 years old.  

It took me years to realise that life didn't 'happen' to me, that these emotional states of being weren't arbitary states that some people were blessed with an abundance of and others barely at all. 

It was after studying and training in a very wide range of therapies that I came across firstly Brief Solution Focussed Therapy, then Coaching, and then NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP) that I began to take charge of my 'states of mind'.  Until I really began to live and breathe what I do now, I was pretty much subject to the vaguaries of what I now call my 'default settings' - those early learned belief systems and ways of responding to circumstances which had so often seemed to be able to whisk me off, without so much as 'a by your- leave' into the absolute depths of despair and worthlessness.  Six years on, those early learned 'default settings' have so much less power.  Now, I am able to shift so much faster and perhaps to no longer even be affected by events that previously could tip me into internal chaos.  

This year, I added to my personal and professional tool box - 'Theta Healing' a form of therapy that works with particular brain waves and can change those deep beliefs that we unwittingly learned from our parents, grandparents, early teachers - so much faster.  

I am delighted that I have learnt personally and professionally - amazing tools and strategies that can assist you, too, to build new patterns of thinking, feeling and responding that can help you to really know that 'love' and 'happiness' are yours, that you can have them daily, you can live with them in increasing abundance, independent of life circumstances and that as you increasingly do this, your life will most certainly become increasingly abundant and easier.  Your every emotion alters your biochemistry, enabling greater health or ill health, depending upon whether your emotional state is positive or negative.  So, by learning to take charge of your thinking and by building new resourceful patterns - the benefits just keep accumulating.  Furthermore as you work with me, you will also gain greater understanding of the holistic strategies to take care of your thinking, your health and to support yourself to a healthier, happier more effective you.

If you would like to discuss areas of your life that you would like to improve please contact me via

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